Monday, February 23, 2015

One Taken


Jack and Phil hastily sped up the hill. It was more of a gentle slope than a hill really. Nevertheless, the speedy ascent caused both men to pant for breath. They both tried to conceal their lack of physical conditioning but they knew each other too well. Jack managed a wry smile as he noticed Phil lagging behind. They knew that the rain was coming although the dark of night blanketed the sleepy little town they were wandering through. Even though the skies were too dark to discern any sign of rain clouds, the moist air was full of the taste of rain.
“C’mon Phil you need to keep up,” Jack encouraged as the gentile incline now rolled onto a level surface.
“I’m trying.”
Phil finally made it back to Jack’s side as they feverishly combed the buildings lining the sides of the narrow street. They knew what they were looking for. It was almost as if they were engaged in a competition to see who would spot it first. As they approached the centre of the tiny town, they stood still while their heads spasmodically turned in different directions. There was not a garage in sight.
“I told you to get rid of that stupid little car!” Jack lamented.
“Well if you’d help me buy one, then we wouldn’t be in this mess,” Phil rebutted.
“Of all the places for this piece of trash car to stall, it had to be in Hicksville USA,” Jack solemnly stated. “You know what they do to people like us around here?”
Phil knew that Jack was right but he was not willing to admit it. The town in which they were wandering was not a proper place for people like them to be. He simply smiled as Jack kept complaining. Eventually, Jack would run out of steam and simmer down. Phil drew closer to Jack and gently grabbed his hand to calm him.
“Excuse me!” Interrupted a heavy abrasive voice.
Phil turned to see a burly six- foot, eight inch tall Caucasian man towering over them. His shabby beard and his sleeveless plaid shirt lent to his intimidating aura.
“Ahhh... Sir, we were just wondering if there’s someone around here who could help us with our car, it’s broken down,” Phil stuttered with a nervous chuckle.
“Listen boy, we don’t need your kind round here in these parts,” the man angrily stated.
“Sir, I was just…”
“What do you mean our kind?” Jack interrupted.
“We don’t need you Homos coming around here messin’ up our beautiful town.”
“It’s perfectly legal for us to be in these here parts…partner!” Jack angrily taunted as he walked toward the ignorant buffoon.
“This is my town and it’s best you just go on through,” the hairy man instructed.
“We’re not going anywhere,” Jack shouted.
“Listen we just want to fix our car and we’ll be on our way,” Phil interrupted.
“We don’t want you in our town!” the man screamed as he jabbed his filthy index finger into Jack’s face.
Jack’s catlike reflexes immediately kicked in as he grabbed the man’s oversized finger and wrung it causing a crisp breaking sound. The large man squealed in pain. Jack’s temper was something he struggled to control. It was something that Phil repeatedly tried to talk to him about but to no avail. Jack was now pounding away upon the head of his oversized antagonist. Phil beckoned for him to stop but it was almost as if Jack was enjoying the vicious assault.
Phil grabbed Jack and draped himself over his flailing body as he struggled to quell his vicious onslaught. Eventually, Jack’s fury subsided and the oversized buffoon lay writhing on the concrete sidewalk.
“That wasn’t called for Jack.”
“Don’t get started with me,” Jack immediately rebutted. “He had it coming.”
“Maybe, but we have to be the better people.”
“We are the better people Phil.”
“I love you but…”
Suddenly, the conversation between Jack and Phil was interrupted by a small group of men who noticed their tall hairy friend lying on the filthy sidewalk. The group of men, flooded out of a nearby bar which stood about a hundred yards away from the stranded couple. The men, now armed with baseball bats and knives started in immediate pursuit of the strangers.
“We better run Jack!”
“No way!” Jack ignorantly grunted. “I don’t care if they kill me.”
“How selfish are you?”
“OK…OK”
Jack and Phil took off running for their lives. If that gang caught up with them, then chances are they would not be around to see the dawning of the sun.
“We need to find a crowded place Jack,” Phil stuttered as he struggled to catch his breath.
“I know…but where?”
The two ran for their lives hoping to see a police precinct or a crowded restaurant but there was nothing of the sort to be seen. The flustered mob remained in hot pursuit. As Jack and Phil turned the corner of the empty street their eyes fell upon the glare of a giant blue lighted cross hovering above a small wooden church.
“Let’s go in there,” Phil declared.
“Ahhh… no… those church people are the ones who created those hooligans that’s chasing us in the first place.”
“C’mon Jack…let’s go… it’s open and surely the can’t kill us in the church!”
Jack and Phil hastily entered into the little white church and made their way to the back pew. A young dark eyed preacher mounted the pulpit and began to address the dense crowd. Phil respectfully bent his head as Jack intently listened. Phil knew what Jack was doing. He was waiting for the young pastor to utter a homophobic word to give him an excuse to react. The gentle preacher spoke of the Love of God and his grace toward men.
“Their god loves them but he hates homosexuals,” Jack whispered as Phil pretended to ignore him.
“Jesus loves everyone,” the tall handsome preacher declared. “God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
Phil listened intently as he felt the words of the preacher caress the extremities of his heart. He could feel the genuine love of the God of heaven lingering in the atmosphere. It was too potent to ignore.
“It doesn’t matter who you are… or what you’ve done,” the preacher continued. “It is inconsequential whether you’re Hindu, Muslim, sikh, Sai, gay, straight, bent… it doesn’t matter, Jesus will cleanse and forgive you.”
“I told you he’d talk about gays!” Jack exclaimed. “They always bash us.”
“Jack you’re such an idiot.”
“Where are you right now?” the preacher questioned as he calmly strolled across the platform. “You’re not sure if what you’re doing is pleasing to God? Well, these days most men live a life that’s pleasing to themselves alone. Their God is their belly. Don’t fall into that place. When you sin, the little conscience that remains testifies to the unnatural feeling of unrighteousness. In other words, you don’t need a law to tell you what’s right or wrong, man was created to sense the truth. Unfortunately, we have shut out the voice of the Spirit and leaned unto our own understanding. The conscience of many has been seared with a hot iron.”
The piercing words of the young minister reverberated within Phil’s mind. Jack sensed his submission and in turn grabbed his hand to distract his pathetic soul searching. Phil knew that he loved the man sitting next to him but his heart was searching for something deeper.
“Give your heart to Jesus today,” the preacher implored. “This decision does not hinge upon the approval of anyone else. Every man has to answer for himself. That’s why the bible declares that two shall be in one bed, one taken and the other one left. Don’t you want to spend eternity with the greatest love you’ll ever know? There is no love greater than the love of Christ. If you accept him, if he comes tonight you’ll be with him in glory. Instantly!”
Phil fought to conceal the stream of tears teetering on the brink of his flickering eyelids. He knew that he wanted something greater than the life that he was living. He also knew that he could not imagine his life without Jack.
Jack on the other hand feverishly struggled to stop himself from standing up and cursing the homophobic minister.  He knew that Phil was concealing an internal struggle and he blamed the preacher for it. Still, he was smart enough to know that it wasn’t the preachers fault but it was easier to blame the preacher than to admit that he couldn’t meet the inner desires of the man that he loved.
The young vibrant minister then made a call for who wanted to accept Jesus. All Phil had to do was raise his hand to receive Jesus. If the Lord would come at that very moment, then he would have everlasting life. Still, he knew what raising his hand meant. He was not ready to lose his love for Jack. He loved him too much. Phil simply sat still while Jack kept staring at him out of the corner of his eye. Both men refused the preacher’s offer. Phil loved his current life too much to have God change it.
Jack and Phil waited until the congregation began to exit and made their way out with them. There was no sign of the men who were chasing them. A man from the congregation enquired about their situation and gladly repaired their little pile of junk, without charge. Jack was admittedly shocked by the elderly man’s kindness. Maybe he didn’t know that they were gay or maybe he didn’t know what being gay was. The old mechanic just smiled at the men as he shook their hands. As they pulled out of his garage, the old man waved while declaring, “Jesus loves you guys, even if you think he hates gay people. He brought you here didn’t he.”
Jack made the long trip back to the city without stopping. He was determined to get them back to the apartment and he did. The next few days Phil struggled to ease back into his routine. Something about the young preacher’s discourse remained in his consciousness. Whatever it was, he was determined to overcome it. There was nothing stronger than the power of love, he thought to himself as he shoved every other thought to the darkest corners of his mind.
One night as Jack and Phil lay asleep in their king sized bed; Phil awoke in a sweaty stupor. He heard the young preacher’s words and he saw the old mechanic’s face in his dreams. He could not understand what had him so disturbed. The faint light bleeding in from the nearby streetlight cast a faint spread of illumination across Jack’s contented face. Phil carefully scrutinized the man next to him and then took a long look at himself. His entire situation seemed skewed, unnatural in a sense, just as the preacher had said. He knew it all along but was not willing to admit it. Now his heart was ready to override his mind.
“Lord Jesus, if you can hear me,” Phil prayed. “Please forgive me. I need you and I need your love. I want to go with you when you return for your children.”
Although Phil’s prayer was short, he knew that it was effective. He didn’t know where to go from there but he was determined to tell Jack about his decision.
“Jack, Jack… get up,”
“What?”
“I don’t want this anymore.”
“You don’t want what?” Jack lazily replied as he remained with his back turned toward his imploring partner.
“This life, I want out, it just doesn’t feel right.”
“Can we talk about this tomorrow Phil?”
“I guess we can,” Phil submitted as for the first time he began feeling uncomfortable while lying next to Jack.
Jack felt the frame of Phil’s body next to his and he began to pray that everything was all right with him. He then began to reconsider Phil’s words. He said he wanted out. It was only then that it occurred to him that Phil was going to leave him. He flew upright in a frantic stupor as he turned to his lover’s side of the bed. Phil was gone. Just a second ago he was sure that he felt Phil’s body next to his. Phil was gone.
“Phil?” Jack shouted. “Phil, where are you?”

There was no answer. Jack jumped out of the bed and rushed toward the light switch. As the room illuminated, Jack was astonished to see Phil’s side of the bed with the covering still forming the outline of his body.  It was only then Jack remembered the words of the young handsome preacher. Two shall be in one bed, one will be taken and the other one left.

Monday, February 9, 2015

More than I will ever know

Let me kiss you with the exuberant passion of a newly tied soul. Surely, my desire will never be quelled, not until the day I lay my crowns before you. Not until the night you sound the clarion call. With the unrelenting tenacity of an energetic child, my heart pounds in anticipation of you. As a cool tinge of your sweet glory lingers beyond the cusp of my quivering lips, I yearn for you in sultry desperation.  Sweeter indeed, sweeter than the honey and the honeycomb, your presence is more to be desired than the finest of fabrics, the most precious of metals and the luxuries of vast wealth. There is no measuring the worth of your company. There’s no defining the extremities of your matchless love. Let me love you with the love of ten thousand son’s given to a legion of daughters. You’re worth more than I will ever know.

Just as the darkness of eerie night slowly falls upon the blushing fields, so to the wintry glower of insatiable hunger descends upon my desperate soul. I write in anguish for the company of the one my soul desires. I thirst for the soothing touch of the one who showers me with compassion. There is no satisfaction until I stand with you in glory’s rest. There is no relenting until we become one as you are in the father and the father is in you. What more can I do, but feebly pen my pathetic despondency in the hope that my precious desires will never be abandoned. I need you now and I will need you tomorrow. Eternity seems destined to be littered with my fervent longing for you. You’re worth more than I will ever know.   

Continually, I will loiter at your door in the hope of a flashing glance of your indescribable glory. Your words are more than a fleeting thought. My convictions are more than a dogmatic proclamation of self-gratifying beliefs. You are the one who loves me best and while my songs may look like verbose rants, I cannot help but sing. Though my melodies may reek of poorness and my words woefully inept, I remain cognisant of the fact that never has a maestro penned a single melody, nor a conductor deduce a worthy tune, which marginally captures the Spirit that is you. Many have tried and will continue to, but you remain above all blessing. You’re worth more than I will ever know.


How fortunate am I? You let me love you. Just this fact overwhelms my soul and leads me in spirited pursuit of you. To be counted worthy to approach the highest place, and conceal myself within the secret of it, is incomprehensible to me. The lures of this life, the wealth of this world, the gourmet meals and sumptuous feasts are nothing to be desired. I can never base a sermon on things so worthless. My soul is imbued with the desire to passionately and intimately know you. Nothing else matters, not those who hate me, not even those who love me. All I see is you. Lead me away from the fallacious, keep my eyes from deceit. Let those who seek you find you. Mark my words; I will not cease, no, not until you visit me. Not until I drink from the springs of living water. Cessation of my ardent quest remains apprehended in impossibility. To me you’re more than a billion galaxies and a trillion suns. Jesus you are above every blessing that has ever breached the lips of anything that boasts of the breath of life. You surpass every lofty description that the most ingenious of minds can construe. Still, you’re worth more than I will ever know.       

Monday, February 2, 2015

Priorities

The more I live the more I realize that when you truthfully begin to pursue the Kingdom of G-d, priorities begin to fall into place. As a preacher I’ve unsuccessfully tried to teach people the order of importance of various aspects of our lives. Different preachers have different lists of priorities. It’s obvious that different cultures shape different priorities. Culture should be the last thing shaping our response to G-d. The Holy Spirit is the only determining factor when listing our priorities. I wish people would understand when I tell them that money; career and even happiness should NOT be top priorities. But most people would disagree with me, including preachers. I guess the only way one could truly comprehend what I mean is if you give your time to seeking the kingdom of G-D.

Things we deem necessities are really things that are neither here nor there. I once heard someone say that G-d just wants us to be happy. That’s not G-d’s quest here. Even so, how will he make us happy, by giving us everything we desire? The bible declares that he granted unto men the desires of their hearts and it brought leanness into their souls. Some may argue that different things make different people happy. That weird, because the list of things people desire is quite a short one. Most of our prioritized lists are imbued with selfish desires. We even interpret G-d’s words though selfish desires.

Our list of priorities may seem modest and spiritually sound but when we hear someone say that G-d desires’ that our first priority be our family, then something’s wrong. For this reason, all the enemy has to do is attack your family and you’re out of the ministry. Some people put possessions at the top of the list, only so that men would know that G-d is a supplier…of course. Yep, he supplies the BMW… to boost your ego.  I’ve seen men prophesy that god said that a certain young woman should marry them (which god?). A lot of the time, the people who desire things the most never get them and those who do, never enjoy it. The people who enjoy their things the most are the people who don’t mind losing (giving) them.


Money really doesn’t matter. Money is quite simple really; the more you give the more you receive. That’s about it with money.  A lustful desire to have ‘stuff’ is just a reflection of the selfish nature of ones heart. While the eternal struggle between ministry and family unfolds, we ask the question, which is more important? That to is simple. You’ll have no problem if your family’s in your ministry and your ministry is your family.  We don’t have to separate them.  So I will not produce a list of priorities for you to follow. Let the Holy Spirit lead you and I’m sure we’ll come up with the same thing. Seek first his kingdom…

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